#14 maybe i wasn't ready for success

god brought the opportunity for me to work on a software product that had 1000x leverage on a market. he brought it, i worked, i created a commendable software, at least in my own eyes. but policies change, market shifts, things that are not in my control happen, shit hits the fan and everything wipes out in one evening. but i don't feel... sad that it didn't work out. i feel like it was meant to crash. because if it had worked out, it would've been more detrimental to the person i am building. it might be cope, or it might just be a mature reaction to things that don't turn out in your favor. whatever it is, i think... it's okay for things to get way worse because that's the test. that's where i get to see how i deal with losing. losing time, losing effort, losing momentum. and i think i'm in this space where i have an opportunity to really mold my character into something that's... not indomitable. what i'm comparing to is tree vs grass in a windstorm. the tree due to its nature stands tall, gets snapped in half by the wind. grass bends to the ground and survives. water cuts through rock. the element is having the work ethic that will dissolve any problem, but the fluidity to move into any problem space that has opportunity. the point is, if it had worked out, my beliefs with work would've become rigid. i did this, so i deserve that. not always bro, not always. it's just a game. but after realizing all this... why am i getting a feeling like it will work out even better than i could've imagined? heheheheh